Dorothy Parker (22. avgust 1893 – 7. juni 1967) američka pjesnikinja i spisateljica. Pisala je za Vogue i Vanity Fair (kojem je 1914. prodala prvu pjesmu). Poznata po svojim kratkim zajedljivim i šaljivim pjesmama o ljubavnim nesrećama i samoubojstvu (najmanje dva puta se zaista pokušala ubiti), koje sama nije smatrala posebno važnim. Bavila se i filmom (scenario za film A Star is Born je bio nominiran za Oskara). Tridesetih se godina prošlog stoljeća okrenula ljevičarskoj politici i učestvovala u organiziranju Anti-nacističke lige Hollywooda, zbog čega su je Hollywoodski producenti stavili na crnu listu, a FBI u više navrata ispitivao. Posljednjih godina života je imala problema sa alkoholom. Umrla je od srčanog udara u 73. Testamentom je svu svoju imovinu ostavila Fondaciji dr. Martin Luther Kinga, da bi po njegovoj smrti ista bila prebačena na ime NAACP-a (National Association for the Advancement of Colored People).
Résumé
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp;
Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give;
Gas smells awful; You might as well live.
Fighting Words
Say my love is easy had,
Say I'm bitten raw with pride,
Say I am too often sad-
Still behold me at your side.
Say I'm neither brave nor young,
Say I woo and coddle care,
Say the devil touched my tongue-
Still you have my heart to wear.
But say my verses do not scan,
And I get me another man!
Frustration
If I had a shiny gun,
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folk who give me pains;
Or had I some poison gas,
I could make the moments pass
Bumping off a number of
People whom I do not love.
But I have no lethal weapon-
Thus does Fate our pleasure step on!
So they still are quick and well
Who should be, by rights, in hell.
***
I wish I could drink like a lady
I can take one or two at the most
Three and I'm under the table
Four and I'm under the host
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